I think about what goes into being a good slave since many who approach Me have a nebulous concept of this at best. For those who aren't familiar, I cam regularly on Streamate and have at least 1833 unique interactions since I began in April 2019. More recently, I like to read from books I find useful for My cam audience. On more than one occasion, I'm asked what it would take to become My slave and while I've answered this question in-show, I wanted to put it down in blog form just to have it on record. I frequently read from Christina Abernathy's Erotic Slavehood especially Part One's "The Training Program" and Matthew Sockolov's Practicing Mindfulness.
Perhaps it is the nature of the cam interactions that make the pleas of men more desperate than they mean to express. I regularly have men offering Me the kitchen sink with no follow through. For this, I read Abernathy's book aloud, repeatedly. The philosophies are reasonable and easily applicable for those who wish to train their slave with care and for slave's to better understand what I want. The very first claim in The Training Program states that good slaves practice mindfulness. "For the slave, it is dharma yoga, the pursuit of one's true vocation, that is the path to mindfulness." (Abernathy, 15)
Someone who is cognizant and aware of their own body, mind, and spirit and who shows care and consideration for their Dominant's body, mind, and spirit is a rarity, but it can be taught and learned. Many of us living in the westernized world go against so much of what we need to be healthier, happier, and more fulfilled. We're frequently sold ease and convenience, convinced that short-cuts are all it takes to getting what we want. Not so. There is no quick fix to getting anything that is worth wanting. The journey of becoming is more important than arriving at a destination.
In Sockolov's Practicing Mindfulness, he lists "9 Aspects of Mindfulness Practice" in plain language. Practicing meditation is not easy as it takes focus, time, and yet more awareness. Meditation doesn't have to look like a seated Buddha, it can look like exercise, cleaning your bathroom, washing dishes by hand, completing tasks that your future self (or a future Dominant) will appreciate. Many of the same tenets of Sockolov's mindfulness list are very much aligned with Abernathy's ideal slave qualities. I can't help but notice that mostly cisgender heterosexual men have a hard time living according to these tenets:
Being fully present
Seeing clearly
Letting go of judgement
Being equanimous
Allowing everything to belong
Cultivating a beginner's mind
Being patient
Making a friend in your self
Honoring yourself (Sockolov, xiii-xvi)
How does this tie back to Abernathy's Program? One must dynamically incorporate all of these into one's life to be on a path toward perfect service to a Dominant, if not to one's self. Worrying about that which is beyond our control, seeing things in the red light of passion and desperation, being quick to judge anyone unlike ourselves, being unhinged, trying to control the narrative all the time, an unwillingness to accept any new information, becoming terse, berating self, and selling one's self short are all signs of someone who has a lot of growing to do before they can offer themselves fully as a slave. Indeed, these qualities show a lack of empathy for self as well as the world. The willingness to acknowledge these is the first step in the right direction on a much more fulfilling path.
Before you ever set foot in a dungeon, take stock of your desires and values. Do they clash? Examine your values further; are you fulfilled living in lockstep to a code that confines you to one razor thin definition of masculinity?
I have no illusions that you, dear reader, may conceive of erotic slavehood to mean heavy leather bondage while being used like a brood mare. But this is a snapshot of an activity and not all what it takes to be Mine. Even while trussed up and suspended from the ceiling by an electric winch, if your mind is not focused on your Mistress, you're only partly present for Her and yourself. The scene could have every bell and whistle your hungry little subby eyes have ever dreamed of, but if you're worried about what you "should be doing" according to some archaic doctrine, will you really fully enjoy the experience? Let yourself belong in this moment, in this bondage within this dungeon, and as Ram Dass famously quoted, BE HERE NOW.
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